I hate The Academy Awards vol.3

Here’s who will win, who should win and who should’ve been nominated or whatever man this is a form of self torture at this point why do I care so much about this shit

I hate everything

HAAAAAARRRRRRRRKKKKK!!!!!!! Triton, hark! Bellow, bid our father the Academy Award nominations rise from the depths full of foul in it’s fury! Golden Statues teeming with false nominations slither through our social media feeds with pungent slime, to choke ye, engorging your emotions until ye turn red with frustration and bloated with bilge and brine and can tweet no more — HAPPY OSCAR NOMINATIONS DAY!!!!!! In a somewhat “down” year for movies, it’s somewhat surprising (and refreshing?) to see a nomination list that isn’t terrible????? I’m actually *happy* with most of the nominations??? But my schtick is to be angry at The Oscars. So, without further adieu, here’s who will win, who should win, and who should’ve been nominated!

BEST PICTURE

Nominees: Nomadland, Promising Young Woman, Mank, Minari, Sound of Metal, Trial of the Chicago 7, Judas and the Black Messiah, The Father

Who will win?

Nomadland is virtually a lock to win almost every major award that it is nominated for. American capitalism might possibly be the downfall of this country. There may never be a correct alternative to this solution. The 2008 recession left millions of Americans jobless and “house less”. In the mythology of the American Dream, retirement is supposed to be synonymous with leisure. Not so for the tens of thousands of Americans whose safety nets were decimated due to the 2008 recession. Roughly only 17% of Americans feel comfortable enough to retire with a livable wage. Because of the greed of capitalism and the toll it had on people, many, in order to find work, were forced to leave their homes and hitting the road in RVs, trailers and other makeshift mobile dwellings

Who should win?

If The Academy voters pull a Parasite from last year and award the actual best movie that’s nominated, it should either be Minari or Judas and the Black Messiah. Minari is beautiful and quit utterly human in it’s storytelling. The complexity of the family dealing with Southern American is a culture shock. The aspect of faith and family, mixed in with head butting culture is gripping, and at times, compellingly depressing. For a country built by immigrants, it’s astonishing to see people still be shocked that there be different cultures with differing views on spirituality, being a blue collared worker and witnessing the intimacy of family. For Judas and the Black Messiah, Shaka King’s directorial feature debut is a tale of Shakespearean betrayal. Shaka King’s creative vision is clear as soon as the film begins, as he radiates a certain realism and authenticity that only someone with a true attachment to this material could manifest. The opening scenes evoke the atmosphere and filth of 1970s cinema, immersing the viewer in this sordid story and setting the stage for the morally ambiguous anarchy that follows.

Who should’ve been nominated?

Nomadland, Promising Young Woman, Mank, Minari, Another Round, Trial of the Chicago 7, Judas and the Black Messiah, Borat, Soul

BEST DIRECTOR

Nominees: Thomas Vinterberg, David Fincher, Lee Isaac Chung, Chloe Zhao, Emerald Fennell

Who will win?

As I stated previously, virtually everything Nomadland is nominated for will win. Chloe Zhao is an impeccable director with a craftsmanship to design a scene is top notch. She has pieced together disparate scenes of everyday conversations, drudgery, scenic beauty, and understated profound moments, into a coherent story about mourning and loss. Along the way, she shows us the strong sense of community among the “house-less” nomads in the film and treats them with the dignity and respect they deserve.

Who should win?

I let out a small little “YES” when Thomas Vinterberg’s name popped up, however I think the award should go to Lee Isaac Chung. The way Lee Isaac Chung frames the family as intimate, yet showcasing the alienation of them by the townsfolk, to the dynamics of the grandson and grandma. Masterfully directed. The camera acts as a wandering stranger, observing the family as they mistake Mountain Dew as “special river water from the mountains”. We are as much observers as the citizens of this town are.

Who should’ve been nominated?

Thomas Vinterberg, Lee Isaac Chung, Chloe Zhao, David Fincher, Shaka King

BEST ACTOR

Nominees: Riz Ahmed, Chadwick Boseman, Anthony Hopkins, Gary Oldman, Steven Yeun

Who will win?

Chadwick Boseman will win. The easiest category to get right. Chadwick Boseman’s final role is an absolute force, as he plays a man who knows what he deserves as well as how stacked the odds are against him. Watching him portray such a role, seeing in his face all the humor, fear, and fury as he brings this dejectedly hopeful character to life, fully aware of his own heartbreaking reality that he does not have enough time to give to the world even a fraction of all the passion that is inside of him, is a powerful experience.

Who should win?

Steven Yeun? More like Steven Yum!! I haven’t seen a more heartbreaking performance in the past year like I have with Steven Yeun in Minari. His conviction lies in the very dirt their mobile home stands upon. He grasps at the soil with his bare hands, promising his skeptical wife that this is the American dream — or, rather, it’s the foundation from which to harvest that dream. It’s the best dirt in America, Jacob insists, and he plans to farm Korean vegetables on this abundant soil.

Who should’ve been nominated?

Steven Yeun, Anthony Hopkins, Chadwick Boseman, Riz Ahmed, Mads Mikkelsen

BEST ACTRESS

Nominees: Carey Mulligan, Frances McDormand, Viola Davis, Andra Day, Vanessa Kirby

Who will win?

Probably the hardest category to pick! Truth be told, I have no idea who will win! Two months ago, I would’ve said Frances McDormand was a lock, that she’d sweep the awards circuit. Now, I’m not so sure! Andra Day won the Golden Globes (which was a shock to say the least), and Carey Mulligan won at The Critics Choice Awards. My gut is telling me McDormand…so I think I’ll stick with her. Now McDormand gave a good performance in Nomadland, but it’s far from her best work. In such a weak year for movies, I don’t think she’d be nominated in any other year.

Who should win?

I’m such a slut for Carey Mulligan, ugh. Promising Young Woman was my favorite movie from 2020, and Carey gave my favorite performance as well. i just don’t know though!! This is why I’m not a betting man. I’d lose everything. But her performance was so electrifying and scary. It elevated her into the stratosphere into one of the best working actresses today. I’m also a sucker for blondes.

Who should’ve been nominated?

Carey Mulligan, Frances McDormand, Viola Davis, Andra Day, Vanessa Kirby

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Nominees: Sacha Baron Cohen, Daniel Kaluuya, Leslie Odom JR., Paul Raci, LaKeith Stanfield

Who will win?

Daniel Kaluuya. Don’t you dare give it to the white man. A powerhouse of Fred Hampton. He controls his screen time like no actor I’ve ever seen since Daniel Day Lewis. We don’t really have many others like him right now. It’s almost chilling to see Kaluuya walk across the screen and dominate it.

Who should win?

I really would love to see LaKeith win, but it’s Kaluuya’s to lose.

Who should’ve been nominated?

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Daniel Kaluuya, Leslie Odom JR., Paul Raci, LaKeith Stanfield

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Nominees: Maria Bakalova, Glenn Close, Olivia Coleman, Amanda Seyfried, Yuu-Jung Youhn

Who will win?

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY GIVE IT TO MARIA BAKALOVA. WHAT SHE WAS ABLE TO DO IN BORAT IS OUTSTANDING. HER FIRST MAJOR ROLE AND HAD TO DO ALL THAT??? SHOW STOPPING. SOMEONE WHO’S ABLE TO MAKE RUDY GIULIANI JERK OFF ON CAMERA DESERVES ALL THE AWARDS. But I have a terrible feeling it’s going to go to Glenn Close.

Who should win?

MARIA BAKALOVA HIVE…RISE UP!!!!!!

Who should’ve been nominated?

Maria Bakalova, Dominique Fishback, Olivia Coleman, Amanda Seyfried, Yuu-Jung Youhn

ANNNDDDD that’s it!!!! Pretty good this year!! Please give Judas and the Black Messiah everything :)

This child is so cute jesus christ

Striving to be great

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